On housed freedom
Elementally protected
She snailed away
On peeling paint
Cried off rotted wood
She looks new
On rusted pipes run
Orange tears on board
She ran from the rabbets
On skyed trees
Sheered for warmth
She took longer to die
On last breaths
Nourishing the green
She's buried beneath
9 comments:
dang...in every ending there's a new beginning...strong words..
nice...i love the bit of contrast in each of these...and i love the look of rusting pipes too...smiles.
Love it, there is a definite feel of learning to start again whilst not forgetting the past.
Ashes to ashes...fantastic and darkly spun weave that was must enjoyed!
Stanza's 4 and 5 are some wonderful examples of writing. Would have to be my favourites here, but it's all good.
Great write.
the most powerful line in this, for me, was that it took longer for her to die. that's something to think about
messy little girl
On last breaths
Nourishing the green
She's buried beneath
Some lovely imagery here amongst the backfrop of a very bleakly painted subject
this had heart and swung for me
Great imagery with a powerful ending.
I like these little haiku-like stanzas, connected into an interesting little story.
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