foolish things

The foolish things I say twist like ribbons in my head.
Bright green polyester spinning over and over until it drills out my skull.
But never really leaving.

Centuries ago,
I was caught in a lightning storm with a beautiful rapist. He squeezed me to death and cracked my soul.
I wanted him to.
...before I knew.

Rain poured on us.
Penetrating my skin.
His indelible mark and my future indifference in scars no one can see.
Still.

The foolish things I say take me there.
Double double triple guessing myself.
Quiet for too long and held by cells... now released.
A torrent of words from seemingly nowhere.

Regret and fury dance in fire. Melting away all life.
My oceans stronger now, drowning that wretched sickening fire.
The space made free is open.
...open.

Love and respect are free to enter and steam out the wrinkles.
Enter me with a welcoming heart and arms.
Still foolish in love with the best play on words.
Still the foolish things I say come out.
Maybe there is no greater agony.