July 12, 2010

pedigree

I am broken
Born broken
Into a broken family

Intuition turns
Twisted into
Paranoia

We never
Had a chance
To think

Redundant
Questions never
Have the right answer

Their voices
On endless repeat
Repeated in my ear

I am the best
Of my
Malformed breed

A feckless malcontent
Pointlessly roaming
In search of peace or truth

Mythical beasts
That don't exist in
The real world

Hopelessness and
Wasted potential
Pave my way

Dropping words to
Relieve the pressure
Of ...everything

Drawn in with manipulation
Down with the
Suction only love can bring

Conditional bargains
And one sided conversations
I'm not at a loss of how I am

There is no heart
No love only the
Tight tentacled bond of verbal abuse

Physically broken
Mentally broken
Broken in the confines of this cage

Here I will
Stay because they
Tossed my function long ago

2 comments:

Gay said...

Wow, Heather! This is so poignant & heartbreaking. The sad thing is I can really relate. Very well done, as usual.

beezknez said...

a very sad poem Heather ..you know what ... i have had a rather off the rails life & for quite a long time & even now fall back into the depression of how things were listening to the negatives that were part of my conditioning belief systems until you know i realise that those like parents or whom brings you up as a child and teachers etc are only doing what they know & that can often very well be Not much at all.. and also they are passing on often the negative behaviours and teachings pass down to them that they pass ono to you & so forth.. the way out is to break that cycle and part of that I think is acknowledging this is so.. and then deciding you have choices to either stay with these negatives that influence nothing gainful positive to your life OR Start to take your own reins and be your own controller of how you think and behave .. We honestly do Not have to behave how we have been taught nor think or anything else... Your such a clever smart creative person who has great sensitivity to the wrongs and rights of the world and You can use this in creating being aware of what you are doing to yourself and how we can be responsible for either our misery or Joy yeah.. :) I hope this is a poem of expression and not one of living yeah because there is only one of you in this world Dear Heather and How Precious Priceless that really makes you :) always love reading your words beez ;) Dont take what keeps you down into your present and make it a future or repeating the misery. It is not an easy thing to dump the angst the anxiety the depression the behaviours attitudes that we come comfortable with that are very much a part of our everyday life.. But if you start to make a conscious effort to see things feel things in a different light and behave generous in spirt being kindly forgiving to your self you will see all these things and more grow reflect you in others eyes and then the Joy of life is drawn towards you like a moth to a light spinning in the darkness to find the light ... the madness in getting lost can often mean a dervish dance that leads to Enlightment :*)) just another beez thought lol ;))